Merry Christmas from the two Fortesqueues! As a gift, we offer you an image from the Governor's Holiday Classic!

Cheetos flavoured lip balm!??!

30 decapitated dog heads found in Tokyo moat

A Tokyo meat seller who imported dog meats from China abandoned about 30 dog heads in an outer moat of the Tokyo Detention House, the police said Friday.
The 82-year-old man told reporters, "I have dumped (the heads of dogs) that I imported for food because I had a problem disposing of them."
Officials from the Metropolitan Police Department said they will question the man on suspicion of violating the waste disposal law.
The man said he imported the severed heads and bodies of dogs from China and sold all body meat.
The heads were left unsold. He said he dumped them into the moat around late October, thinking "it will be food for carps in the moat.
Most of the heads have decomposed to the skull, according to police.
The heads were found Friday in 45-centimeter-deep water in the moat, scattered within a stretch of 1 to 2 meters. The moat is on a levee 8.5 meters wide, located north of the facility in the Kosuge area of Katsushika Ward.
A woman pedestrian spotted the heads at around 1:15 p.m. and reported to police. "

MADRID, Dec. 16 (UPI) -- The patriarch of the singing
Iglesias clan, Julio Iglesias Sr., is going to be a father again at
age 90.
The elder Iglesias, whose son Julio Jr. turns 63 in 2006,
announced in Madrid he is expecting his second child with his
42-year-old wife, Ronna Kneit, hellomagazine.com reported Friday.
"My wife wanted it and I owed it to her," the retired
gynecologist said. "It was an act of generosity towards her. I leave
her part of my blood, of my life. I need her so much that I said to
her, 'Here, this is what you wanted for when I am gone.'"
The couple married in 2001 after a 17-year romance. Their
first child, Jaime, was born in 2004.
"At my age, a child is marvelous," he said. "If people say I
just did it for my wife, I don't take it as an insult, but the truth
is I wanted it just as much as her. It is a gift and a privilege."

Celebrity stoners

Doctors to Remove Growth from Girl's Face: "These photos provided by the International Kids Fund Tuesday, Dec. 13, 2005, shows Marlie Cassueus, 14, right, as she looks now with a 16-pound tumor-like growth on her face Tuesday, Dec. 13, 2005 in Miami and as she looked at left in this undated family photo. Marlie will undergo surgery to remove the growth Wednesday, Dec. 14 at Holtz Children's Hospital, part of the University of Miami/Jackson Memorial Medical Center. (AP Photo/International Kids Fund)"

Bad-ass Brass Knuckle Implants "The procedure took a few hours (after which Chrissy went back to work the same day) with most of the time being spent laying anchor stitches to reduce shifting. Healing was uneventful with some bruising and swelling for the first week. Mederma treatment is starting soon to minimize the insertion scar."

Viafin Atlas - Inventors of the worlds first artificial retractable foreskin for circumsised men.: "The SenSlip is worn on the penis throughout the day, protecting the glans and remaining exposed foreskin from chafing and the elements. Constructed and anatomically formed from the thinnest and finest pre -vulcanised latex and microscopic viscose rayon fibers, the SenSlip has an inner and outer rolling layer to allow natural retraction to expose the glans for urination or cleaning. Like a natural foreskin the SenSlip is specially designed to stay in place all day (it weighs as much as a tissue), and of course it is seamless."

TheStar.com - Alleged child killer beaten: "The trial of a 54-year-old woman facing a murder charge for the starvation death of her grandson, Jeffrey Baldwin, was delayed after she was beaten up in the police van used to transport prisoners on her way to court this morning."

Complete Audio of the Execution Tapes

Juliana as "Wonder Woman"
Juliana is a lively little girl who I check up on every week or so. I first found out about her after seeing a documentary on TLC called "The Girl Without a Face." I'm not crazy about the title really - because she DOES have a face. She was born with a genetic disorder called Treacher Collins syndrome. According to doctors, she's the most extreme case they've ever seen. Her mom updates a blog about Juliana's progress and her most recent entry cracks me up. Here's an excerpt:

"I was trying to get this update finished before Juliana woke up, but no such luck. She just woke up and she is already throwing things down the stairs and causing trouble. Wow, I got two whole lines written before Kendra yelled "Uh Oh". I went downstairs to see what Juliana had done and her diaper was half way off and she was headed out in the backyard."

It's nice to read that she's up to the regular mischief that all two-year-olds get into. If you want to read more about Juliana click here:CaringBridge.org - juliana

Now that Sam is no longer with us, Milo has emerged as the world's greatest ugly mutant dog. He doesn't have the cataracts or warts that Sam had, but he DOES have a huge tongue. If you can believe it, he was taken to a pound somewhere in California because he was chasing chickens! I'm so glad he was rescued by a nice lady who appreciates him for his Milo-ness. Feast your eyes on some of his pictures - he's quite the photogenic little stud!




Visit his site - Milo the dog with the tongue. Cute,ugly.sexy.

Those of you who are on my MSN contact list have probably already been bombarded with this link - but I am totally smitten with these pandas. The little fella, Su Lin, is just the cutest little creature. A living teddy bear! I love seeing his mama carry him around in her mouth. I've gotten into the habit of keeping a tab of this page open and checking in periodically. How can one not feel uplifted watching such interesting creatures do their thing? To have a peek click here: San Diego Zoo Exhibit: Panda Cam at the Giant Panda Research Station

Check out Ralph Goings website. He's a pretty amazing photorealist painter.

Our 900th post is a SAD one!!! The earth has lost one of its funniest people - Richard Pryor.

Born in Peoria, Ill., in December 1940, Pryor had a grandmother who owned a string of brothels and his mother was a prostitute. He drew part of the inspiration for his act from the pimps and other characters he met at the brothel, he said.

Pryor married seven times, although he only had five wives in total because he married two women two times.

What is up with the character in the middle?! Funny funny shit...

We loved renting his movies when we were kids. He cracked our little asses up.

Peace out brother!

Love Transcends Gender "A husband and wife have 'remarried' as a gay couple - 14 years after the groom had a sex swap operation.Bernard and Joyce Rogers wed in 1967 but have lived "like sisters" since 1991, when Bernadette, as she's now known, underwent gender surgery.The retired physicist is now legally recognised as a woman thanks to the Gender Recognition Bill which became law last year.
And that meant she was able to have a civil partnership ceremony with Joyce.
Bernadette, of Woodford Halse, near Daventry, Northants, said: "We have exactly the same affection for each other we have always had.
"We have an absolutely ideal relationship. We complement each other in every way."
The proud 76-year-old added: "I stood in front of the mirror in my bedroom this morning and thought, 'Yes, you have done it now.' It is a sense of completion."
Before "remarrying", the couple first had to divorce - because the Gender Recognition Bill does not acknowledge a change in a transsexual's gender if the person remains married.
A judge this week granted the couple an early release from divorce proceedings at Northampton County Court, giving Bernadette a new birth certificate which showed she is a woman."

Explore the wild and wacky art of Caleb Weintraub

"Goodmorning. Goodevening. Goodnight"
Cliff Gyles jailed after appeal denied: "Former Mississauga councillor Cliff Gyles was sent to jail yesterday after a panel of judges dismissed the appeal of his 2003 conviction and sentence for demanding and taking bribes.
Gyles, 60, had been free on bail since electing to appeal his case in September 2003 following a guilty verdict on two counts each of municipal corruption and breach of trust.
He had been sentenced to 2 1/2 years in prison after the court heard evidence that the former councillor demanded and accepted $35,000 in bribes from two Malton businessmen in return for his approval on two rezoning applications.
Gyles is expected to go to a Kingston-area penitentiary in a week. He'll be eligible for parole after serving one-sixth of his sentence, or five months."

Our lovely cousin Amanda alerted us to this hilarious news morsel: Unusual News : U.S. woman charged in murder plot over cocaine brick that turned out to be cheese
"MEMPHIS, Tenn. (AP) - A woman allegedly tried to hire a hitman to rob and kill some men who she believed had a brick of cocaine in their house, police said. However, the white block turned out to be cheese, and the hitman for hire was an undercover police office.

The woman was in the Memphis home of the four intended victims last week when she mistook a block of queso fresco cheese for cocaine - inspiring the alleged idea to hire someone to break into the home, take the drugs, and kill the men, police say.

Jessica Booth, 18, was arrested on the weekend and remains in jail with bond set at $1 million US on four charges of attempted murder and four counts of soliciting a murder, the Commercial Appeal newspaper reported Tuesday.

The undercover officer gave Booth some non-functioning handguns, bought ammunition for her because she was too young, and the two proceeded to the home under police surveillance.

Booth told the officer that any children inside the house old enough to testify would also have to be killed, police said.

A search of the home with the permission of the occupants revealed no drugs - only the white, crumbly cheese common in Mexican cuisine.

'Four men were going to lose their lives over some cheese,' said Lieut. Jeff Clark, who heads Project Safe Neighbourhoods."

Dreamlines Type in some words about your dream and this site will create a visual accompanyment. Lucid and strange...

Man Pleads Guilty in Horse-Sex Case: "A man has pleaded guilty to trespassing in connection with a fatal horse-sex case.
James Michael Tait, 54, of Enumclaw, was accused of entering a barn without the owner's permission. Tait admitted to officers that he entered a neighboring barn last July with friend Kenneth Pinyan to have sex with a horse, charging papers said. Tait was videotaping the episode when Pinyan suffered internal injuries that led to his death.
Tait pleaded guilty Tuesday and was given a one-year suspended sentence, a $300 fine, and ordered to perform eight hours of community service and have no contact with the neighbors.
The prosecutor's office said no animal cruelty charges were filed because there was no evidence of injury to the horses. "

Caustic Drink, Toxic Man This man is NUTS. Crazy gross nuts. He got busted recently for talking girls into drinking a toxic solution of bleach and other nasty crap. Why? Because he gets off on it when they vomit. How sick is that?! His most recent victim is in the hospital with sever burns to her esophagus and stomach. He was also convicted last year of talking a 13-year-old girl into drinking bleach. I have a pretty high threshold for all things weird, but this guy needs help. I wonder what events in his life led to his sick perversion?

Come on folks! Watch some Tarzan Rubber Band!!!! CLICK HERE

OR...

Check out some vintage Soul Train footage. It's classic!

Sound of Dog's 'Laugh' Calms Other Pooches
Researchers: Canine Laugh Is Long Loud Panting Sound

So You Think She Can Dance?!?!??!

21st century toys

Taxi Driver Bites Off Customer's Fingertip
"COPENHAGEN, Denmark (AP) - A taxi driver in Denmark bit off the tip of a 48-year-old man's finger in a brawl over how many people could fit in the cab, police said Monday.
The dispute started early Sunday morning, when a group of five men hailed a taxi in downtown Odense, a city in central Denmark.
Police said things got out of hand when the 37-year-old driver insisted he could only take four passengers. It was not clear who started the fight, but the 48-year-old man claims he grabbed the driver by the collar after the driver acted aggressively and spat at him, police said.
The driver, who was bruised but not seriously injured, said the man grabbed him by the jaw with his left hand and punched him with other hand. The driver claims he accidentally bit off the tip off the man's ring finger in the commotion, police said.
The 48-year-old was taken to a nearby hospital for treatment."

Oh No! The Swedish Straw Goat Has Been Burnt Again!!: "STOCKHOLM, Sweden (AP) - Vandals set light to a giant straw goat Saturday night in a central Swedish town, police said - an event that has happened so frequently it has almost become a Christmas tradition.
It was the 22nd time that the goat had gone up in smoke since merchants in Gavle, 150 kilometers (90 miles) north of Stockholm, began erecting it to mark the holiday season.
Police spokeswoman Margareta Olander said officers received a call just after 9 p.m. to report that the goat was ablaze.
'In just a couple of minutes only a sooty wooden skeleton remained,' she said. There were no immediate suspects, but Olander said that one of two men seen running from the scene was wearing a Father Christmas mask.
Since 1966, just 10 of the 43-foot-high goats have survived beyond Christmas Day. Most were burned - sometimes within hours of being built during the first week of December. The 1976 goat was hit by a car, while in 1997, it was damaged by fireworks.
The vandals are seldom caught, but in 2001, the goat was set on fire on Dec. 23 by a 51-year-old visitor from Cleveland, Ohio. The culprit, Lawrence Jones, was convicted and spent 18 days in jail."

Have you ever wondered what human flesh tastes like?
I can't say that I have, but this person has compiled a list of descriptions by folks who have chowed down on homo sapien meat.

Man might face assault charges after hurling a dead possum at his partying neighbour.
"Acting Sergeant Sam Gilpin said the man had seen a dead possum on the road while walking over to complain about the noise from a party opposite his house last night.
He had picked up the dead animal and hurled it at his neighbour's front door.
When the door had been opened by the homeowner, the man had picked up the carcass again, thrown it at the neighbour and walked home.
Police were investigating and charges were pending."

2005 Yo-Yo Champion: Takayasu Tanaka This kid is incredible with a yo-yo! Watch the clip and you'll see what I mean.

Glitter destroys computer: "Shamed rocker Gary Glitter has smashed up his computer in a desperate bid to hide explicit images of child abuse, according to police in Vietnam.
But computer analysts believe they can still be able to retrieve information from the laptop's hard drive."

TheStar.com - Transplant donor a suicide: "Dinoire had suffered her appalling injuries after she lost consciousness following an overdose of sleeping pills, which she has now confirmed was an attempt on her own life. Her dog, which has been destroyed, is thought to have been trying to revive her."

Keep that iPod busy with iBuzz - the music activated iPod sex toy!!
Ok folks now this is just wild.
People sure are crafty. Three cheers to the techno-wizards who came up with this one.
Nothing like putting your iPod to use as a vibrator. The best part is that there's an adapter so you can plug your headphones in and listen to music at the same time!
How is that for multitasking?!
Meghan is the only person I know with an iPod. She's all about different attachments for her precious gadget. Do you think she'd like Santa to leave an iBuzz in her stocking??!?!?!

Where is Cynthia Plaster Caster When You Need Her?
"50 Cent is planning to create a vibrator of his manhood - so his female fans can pretend to have sex with him. The sexy rapper is desperate to release a line of condoms and waterproof sex toys designed to excite his female fans and make them feel closer to his idols
The 'Get Rich Or Die Tryin' star said: 'I need to make a 50 Cent condom and motorised version of me, which will have to be waterproof so you can utilise it in the tub. Blue is my favourite colour so it will probably be blue. But I don't know how big.
I don't know if big is better because I'm not sure a man wants his woman playing with a really big dildo"